I'm falling apart!

Wednesday September 24, 2008 Phase Two Day 156:
Today is Sonnet’s birthday. Hooray!



We called to sing to her at 6:00am, as is our tradition, and made a date for dinner at Black Angus. I had Cheerios for breakfast and something I should not have had, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I went back to bed to read and ended up falling asleep until 11:15. I am so swollen and itchy today. For lunch, I put on Andy Griffith and ate tuna and crackers. Later I had popcorn. Tonight at Black Angus, I had steak salad. Stephen and Sonnets dinner came with mudd pie so I ordered one. It was wonderful. Mudd pie is made with Mocha ice cream, which Sonnet & Stephen did not like. You know what that means – Yes – I get all three. One I ate at the restaurant, the other two I took home. I have already had another but the last one is in the freezer for tomorrow. I did not plan this! However, life happens to me.

Sunday September 28, 2008 Phase Two Day 160:
Check out the date. I have really let my entries go. These shingles have left me tired and pretty much home bound the last part of the week. I usually watch TV, read and work on quilts for Taunie. I did go to the Relief Society stake enrichment and broadcast Saturday afternoon. It was wonderful. I have been eating a combination of good, bad and ugly. Most times regular good stuff like cereal and smoothies but I have sure let the veggies go. I have not had a salad since Wednesday. I have instead eaten some handy but carb-loaded alternatives such as peanut butter sandwiches and popcorn. These would not be too terrible on occasion, especially if I was maintaining my normal exercise schedule. This week however, I have not gone to step class once or swam since Monday. I have showed up for walking which is a good thing.

Today I am feeling and looking better. The swelling in my face is all but gone. I can still see two shingles marks but the blisters are gone. What is left just looks like scrapes. I think I will stay home from work until after my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday.

As far as eating today, I wasn’t feeling hungry this morning but made myself eat most of an apple before going to choir. At church I had some trail mix from Stephens stash in his desk drawer. Here at home I had a few bites of a steak Stephen cooked yesterday, one cracker with egg mix and a had full of almonds. Around 2:30, I am going to Cindy’s. Thanks to her generosity, we have a standing invitation and sometimes I pop in, but today she is having a little something special in honor of Sonnet’s b-day.

Cindy’s was nice. She served salad, green beans (Sonnet’s favorite) and lemon chicken with rice. We had lemon cake (another one of Sonnet’s favorites) with sherbet. It was very good. Later at home I had a yogurt. I was happy and satisfied and settled for the night when the doorbell rang. Sabotage! The Rasmussens’ brought over homemade doughnuts – I give up!

Tuesday September 30, 2008 Phase Two Day 162:
It is Tuesday night and here I am trying to remember what I ate yesterday. It has been so wonderful to be at home so much this last week. Shingles is not a fun reason to be home from work but I must admit even with the illness I have loved being home. I have quilted mostly. It sure has thrown off my schedule though. I do not get to the computer or this journal very much. I am kind of falling apart. Do not ask me why but I have bitten all my fingernails off – way off. I have not bitten in years. My eating is a mess and I haven’t been exercising because of the shingles. Today normally is weigh in day but Sonnet did not come by this morning. There is no way I am getting on the scale today – I have not worked out in over a week! Tomorrow I walk with friends then go swimming with my Mom. After that, I am back to work. I think that perhaps getting back to a schedule will help me get things together. I will have a good talk with Sonnet tomorrow night when we walk. I know she will whip me back into shape.

Delusional

Wednesday September 17, 2008 Phase Two Day 149:
Woke earlier than the alarm this morning feeling great. Walked with friends then ate some protein Special K and blueberries. Picked up Mom and went swimming. Now back home it’s laundry, bills and church work. Off to work in a bit. Stephen will be in town today at noon and asked me to meet him at Zorba’s for a salad.

Stephen & I had a nice lunch. Back at the office I had two cookies. At home neither of us wanted soup because it was still warm outside, so I had some popcorn (only 110 calories) and a smoothie. Light dinner.

Thursday September 18, 2008 Phase Two Day 150:
Great day so far. Woke up and went to step class. Back home, I ate oatmeal and watched an adventure of the old TV series Robin Hood. Had an 8:00 appointment to have my teeth cleaned. It wasn’t bad at all. Talked to Dr Lukins (great dentist) about removing the spot on my front tooth. I am so happy - he said it could be done relatively easy. When I stopped by the bank I saw a fruit vender and picked up some peaches and avocado. Dropped a few at Mom’s then gassed up and washed the car. Oh yea, I also got the oil changed. I just love running errands. I know – weird.

Now at home I need to get some church work done so I grabbed a peach and came up to the computer…….Went in to work late today because we have an afterschool nutrition program that will keep me there late. My step instructor, Larry, mentioned this morning that his annual American Cancer Society fundraising BBQ is tonight. The BBQ is at his family business in Tipton (almost to Tulare). I called Blake & Sara to see if they wanted to meet us there. Sonnet was free so we all had a nice dinner together. I ate….a lot. It was good tri-tip and luscious creamed red potatoes and of course salad, bread and green beans. They offered cookies for dessert and I had two.

Friday September 19, 2008 Phase Two Day 151:
I am sugared up again. I know this because I took part in a clinical study this morning. This is the data: whenever I de-sugar myself, that is to say cut drastically back on sugars then have something very sweet, the effect on my system is not very pleasant. My stomach will cramp and I usually have to run to the bathroom. This morning after walking with my friends; Doug came out to the car with two doughnuts left over from seminary. They just happened to be maple bars – the best of all doughnuts. I decided to have one. Now, I had planned to go to the store for a couple things right after walking, so in the back of my mind was the thought that this doughnut will hit my sugar free stomach and I will be hurting and desperately hunting for a rest room right about the time I am perusing the aisles at Green Frog (which, by the way, I hardly ever shop at because it is too expensive, but if I need something quick I will stop in). This is where the results if the study come into play. I had no unpleasant symptoms at all. This can only mean one thing – I am not de-sugared.

Now, anyone who reads this is probably saying to himself or herself, “She thought she was de-sugared? She is delusional!” To which my response is, “Yes, I am delusional”. Only this morning I was laughing with friends about not realizing how erratic I eat. After reading my last Pigs to Twigs entry, Stephen commented how bad my week was. The only thing I can say is, when I am having cottage cheese and cantaloupe, or berries, or a dinner of soup and a smoothie, or tuna & crackers for lunch, I think I am eating well. I know I have treats here and there – I even lament about all the excuses I find to indulge. I write it all down and chastise myself for excessiveness, then wake up and have cottage cheese with cantaloupe again which makes me think I am hanging in there. What is funny to me is that I actually thought that doughnut was going to hit my stomach like a sugar bomb. When I review the cookies I have had over the last few days and the ice cream; logically I see the folly of that thought. What can I say – I think I will stick with the delusional theory.

I have been up at this computer all morning! It is 12:40. I came home from the store after walking, put the milk in the frig and came up here to type. I can’t believe how the time flies. Needless to say I won’t be going into the office today. Now I am down the kitchen and get some protein Special K – I am hungry. Then I guess I will take a shower and head out to pick up Stephen. We are going to the temple tonight and stay over for stake temple day tomorrow. That means we will probably have dinner in the temple cafeteria tonight. You know what that means……Custard! Love it!.....Sure enough we ate in the temple cafeteria. We both had prime rib, salad bar and custard. Unfortunately I also had two chocolate chip cookies.

Saturday September 20, 2008 Phase Two Day 152:
Today we were in the temple and appropriately so. Today is the 29th year anniversary of the day we received our endowment. I saw Lawrence Taylor there today but of course, Betty is gone from us now. Betty was my escort to the temple on September 20, 1979.



Our day began with a nice sleep in and breakfast in the temple of eggs, bacon and custard. The chapel session was wonderful followed by the 11:30 endowment session. Stephen & I had cafeteria duty so after the session we hurried to work. I served hot food and Stephen was in the kitchen washing dishes. We had no time to eat lunch but just enough time to dash back upstairs to catch the next stake session. After we were through we went down for dinner. I had a piece of chicken, salad from the salad bar and ……can you guess? Custard. At home, I ate a granola bar and a frozen smoothie as we watched Scarecrow – an old Disney series that came in the mail.

Sunday September 21, 2008 Phase Two Day 153:
Happy Anniversary! Today is our 29th anniversary.



Stephen was up at the crack of dawn and off to meetings. There was a card waiting for me when I woke up. It was cute. I ate protein Special K before left for choir. The choir sang at church. They are so wonderful. I took my anniversary card for Stephen to church and gave it to him between meetings. I substituted in nursery today. It was fun but very active. Wow – so many kids. At home, I had crackers with turkey & cheese and a peach. I made a yummy chocolate cake and some lemon bars to take to Taunie’s tonight. I called an emergency meeting of the Walkie Talkie’s after Taunie called last night to say she was back in town and packing up her house. Wow – talk about closing a chapter. We ate and talked and enjoyed one another’s company for a few hours. I ate chocolate cake, two lemon bars and a lot of tapioca pudding.

I came home to find Stephen asleep on the couch. He had not even gotten home from interviews before I left at 6:00. He had a long day at church. We came up to the computer together to check blogs and email, but someone called and needed to stop by so he is in an interview right now. I had a cup of soup when I came upstairs.

Monday September 22, 2008 Phase Two Day 154:
Walking, Swimming and Special K for breakfast is a great way to start the day. However, there is more to this day to explain.

OK, what haven’t I talked about – Friday I saw two red bumps on my face by my left eye. What are those I wondered? As the day progressed, they began to swell a little and itch. Bug bites I guessed. I picked up some cortisone cream Friday night to help with the itching. Saturday at the temple they were looking funny so I tried to cover them with makeup. By Saturday night, they had swelled a little more and I looked like I had a dark circle under that eye. Sunday morning I did my best cover-up makeup job and went to church. When the Walkie Talkies met that night at Taunie’s I received advice to go to the doctor. So….this am after swimming I called and got in to see the doctor….are you ready….shingles! Yep, shingles, a strain of the varicella (chicken pox) virus has laid dormant in my nerve system until now when, voila – it decides to pop out. Shingles can be brought about by stress or a low immune system. Knowing my recent life, I vote for stress. Let’s revisit September 5th when I recorded news that was the cause for the edits in my journal a few weeks ago.

“I have some shocking news…That is what Stephen said to me last night. We had been talking in bed then we read and said prayers like always. I reached up to turn off the light and he says, “I have some shocking news.” I asked him what it was. He said, “Blake is thinking of enlisting.” What! As if I could roll over and go to sleep now!!! He then proceeded to tell me Blake had called him earlier to get his opinion. They talked for a while. Of course, I was asking Stephen all kinds of questions that he did not have the answer to. Things like, When - right now or when he finishes school? How long has this been in the works? After about the fourth or fifth question I told Steph I wanted to call and see if they were free for dinner tonight. I called Blake (by then it was 10:30pm) and told him what his dad told me right before I turned out the light He started laughing. I told him I want to meet for dinner to hear what his plans and goals are. I am actually excited to hear his thoughts. So tonight we will be in Fresno for dinner…….
Had a wonderful evening with Blake & Sara. During dinner we talked and listened to Blake. His dad gave him some good points to ponder based on his own military experience. I found out anything he does will be after he graduates, phew! I will ever thank my Heavenly Father for sending Blake to us. He is a special boy and has been his entire life. I am grateful we are exceptionally close. One of the reasons I like the movie, ‘The Work and the Glory’ is the close relationship depicted between Maryann Steed and her son Nathan. They connect. Blake and I connect. Before we left, he asked his dad for blessing and received wonderful council. Whatever he chooses, we will support him.’

I would say that might be a source of stress in a mother’s life. In the subsequent weeks he continues to gather information and will be taking the army aptitude test this weekend to see what options are open to him. Nothing is decided yet. I have learned over the years that my children’s well being, stability and happiness is never entirely disconnected from my own. Lately, I have also had Tiffany on my mind and praying especially for her with the challenges she is facing at this time. Nothing insurmountable, but challenging just the same. I would not be completely honest if I did not add to the mix, concern for my own tight finances. The consequences of expenditures we have made are coming home to roost. Of course, this is all just conjecture as I try to explain my puffy, red, itching shingle face.

The good news is I do not have to worry about work for a few days. This means I can help Taunie. When I picked up my prescription, I joined Jami at Taunie’s for box packing. I ate a pocket sandwich, egg roll, some leftover cake a lemon bar while over there. Not so good. We spent the rest of the day packing. Our Hubbies, Stephen & Ernie joined us at Taunie & Allen’s at dinnertime. Allan ran to El Pollo Loco. We ate grilled chicken breast, steamed veggies and salad. That sounds very good but I added to that a bunch of grapes. Even that would not have been terrible but after the Larsen’s left, Taunie broke out the ice cream and I brought out the cake. Oh boy. Very bad day.

Tuesday September 23, 2008 Phase Two Day 155:
Normally a weigh in day but I am on my period so all bets are off. Of course, yesterday’s disastrous menu would not have anything to do with it. Sonnet came over and we had a bowl of cereal. She weighed the same – said there were too many parties this week. Now I am off to Taunie’s to pack…..Oh my, I am tired. It is after 4:00 but I think we got the house packed. They fed us a lunch of KFC chicken. I had chicken, biscuit and beans. Later we had cake and ice cream. The good news is that the cake is all gone. More good news is that I will probably have more of a normal day tomorrow with my food choices all under my control. OK, so food choices are always under my own control, but I mean I will be the one putting food in front of me – not someone else.

Will I Ever Get Good At This?

Wednesday September 10, 2008 Phase Two Day 142:
Wow – very busy day. Today I have my Employee Wellness event and presentation. I woke up and walked with friends first thing. At home, I ate cantaloupe and mixed berries for breakfast. I started cooking as soon as I got home. I made salsa and egg salad. I experimented with the egg salad mixture. I was looking to replace all the saturated fat of mayonnaise. Mayo is 100% fat! I decided to cream some cottage cheese with a hand mixer then stir some in to the boiled eggs. It worked J I made egg mix with eggs, cottage cheese, salt, pepper, mustard and pickles. It is good. I also mixed salsa with creamed cottage cheese to make a sandwich spread. I used it on a turkey sandwich and it was great. At work, I put on the finishing touches then set up the room. It was great fun to talk with people as they came by. I had everyone sample the sandwiches, salsa, granola and fruit I prepared. I did not have time to make smoothies so I will save that for another time. By the time it was over and cleaned up I was tired. I figure I was on my feet for 12 hours straight beginning with my walk.

During the presentation, I would have a piece of granola here and a peach slice there. When I took supplies back to the office around 5:30, Pam was the only one there and still working. I made smoothies for us. It hit the spot. For dinner that night I ate some wheat pasta (it was very good) with home dame spaghetti sauce. I did have a piece of dark chocolate. Sonnet came over after Institute and we had a brisk walk.

Thursday September 11, 2008 Phase Two Day 143:
September 11, I must wear Red, White & Blue today. Gobbled down some mixed berries. Up an out early this morning. Rinez needs a ride to Shannon’s so I pick her up at 6:20. I will hit the pool after I drop her off……Had a very good swim. I also hit the inner and outer thigh machines. Next was my hair appointment. I look beautiful! On the way home I stopped back in at 24 Hour Fitness to ask about a week long pass for my Mom. She loves to swim and lately has not had a good place to swim. I thought I could take her a few times and she if she likes the gym pool.

When I got home I was hungry. I reached for my whole-wheat crackers to eat with my egg & cottage cheese mix. Delicious. I also had a bowl of Special K. Based on the new information about carbs being friends, I checked out the calorie content of my lunch. It was pretty good. The crackers and eggs were about 300 calories. And the cereal was another 250. I used to think you must eat 1000 calories or less to loose weight but now realize that you need much more that that. I think if I eat 1500 – 1800 calories a day, with my present exercise level, I would continue to loose weight and inches. So eating a 550 calorie lunch is not bad.

At noon, I went to Joel Carpenters funeral. So young to die. Number four out of ten children he is preceded in death by two sisters. The service was comforting and faith promoting. I sat by Jami who was very close to them. Now I am back home and think I will take advantage of an afternoon off to read and more importantly fall asleep – yes and nap. This does not happen very often. I think I’ll grab a smoothie from the frig and take it with me upstairs to read.

I met up with Sonnet for weight lift class. Today I added a little weight to step it up a bit. It was a good workout. On the way home we stopped my Mom’s to ask her about swimming and decided to go on Monday after walking. I hope she likes it. At home for dinner I had a bowl of a new kind of Special K. It is wheat, as opposed to rice, flake. Very good. Cereal is a good way to get milk with the needed calcium in me. I also had two crackers with egg mix. Sonnet came by to try it and really liked it. So, I had about 400 calories this evening. We were doing some research and I was wrong about 1500-1800 calories a day for weight loss. It is more like 1200-1500 so that is what I am going to shoot for.

Friday September 12, 2008 Phase Two Day 144:
Well, I got up and out the door to walk with my friends but ended up back at home. The name Walkie-Talkies was affectionately bestowed on our little group of friends by Doug Campbell for good reason. We have been known to meet for walking then end up at my house for hot chocolate. This morning Gaye showed up to say she has a sore back and can’t walk. So naturally in the spirit of compassion and solidarity for our injured sister, we decided to come to the house for hot chocolate and conversation. While they were there, I had them all try my egg mix and give me their opinion. Rinez liked it, Shannon thought it was bland and Gaye agreed. Stephen weighed in the night before with his opinion that it was too vinegar-ie and that he would not be eating it. When he came downstairs and saw us there sampling it he shared with them his objections. Nevertheless, for all his protesting, he still took a piece of bread, covered it with egg mix and headed off to work. Well, I am glad I like it! Shannon said she has tried making tuna with plain yogurt – sounds interesting. I’ll try that soon.

So far this morning I have had sugar free hot chocolate with a little mint cocoa (about 80 calories) and egg mix and crackers (50 calories). I think for breakfast I will have some mixed berries (75 calories).

OK, so yesterday I did have a nap – wonderful. There was just one little problem – I forgot I had boy scouts coming by to work on merit badges!!!! What a goof! I remembered it earlier that day but it went completely out of my mind in the afternoon. Stephen found a note on the door from the boys. I called this morning to apologize and have rescheduled for today. I should have known I did not have time for a nap!

It seemed like I snacked all afternoon. A granola bar here (130), some light chips there (75). I know I had a frozen smoothie at lunch and at 2:00 Phyllis made her banana, strawberry & orange juice smoothies for the whole office. I got home and had a bowl of cereal. My scouts came and finished their merit badge. They really are nice boys and will let me know when they have their eagle court of honor. When they left they handed me a thank you card with $50 Black Angus certificate in it. Wow. I called Stephen and of course we went out to dinner. I had a delicious steak salad and Stephen had prime rib.
Tonight we watched ‘Bucket List’ – we loved it. What a good, thought provoking movie. Made us cry. I had one hot chocolate while watching.

Saturday September 13, 2008 Phase Two Day 145:
Stephen is up and out on a bike ride this morning. I slept in a little but now am off to my office to copy the flyers for our stake fall social. I like to put them out at stake conference because it is the best way to reach the most people. For breakfast, I had a bowl of wheat Special K. I added mixed berries to it.

What a great day I have had. I copied my flyers then went to my appointment at Toyota to have an estimate for the damage from the rear-ending we had last week. I knew it would take a few hours so I took my book with me. How heavenly. I sat on a bench in the shade and read, read, read. It was wonderful to have that much, uninterrupted time to enjoy a book. After the car appointment, I stopped in at the gym to swim. I had a hard workout. Before I went in the pool, I did the inner and outer thigh machines again. I was sore so I know I worked the mussels. I came home and Stephen was on the computer doing homework. I got my book out again and sat in the rocker by the computer to read some more. When it was time for the leadership session of conference I took Steph and went on to the store, came home and put the groceries away then took the car to the stake center and walked home. I made chicken and veggies teriyaki style for dinner. It turned out very tasty.

Conference was wonderful and very meaningful to me. Now we are off to the Campbell’s for homemade ice cream, yummmmmm. Suffice it to say, I enjoyed everyone’s ice cream. Gaye brought her peppermint and Rinez made root beer ice cream. Both were very good. There were two rocky road store bought offerings, one regular & I brought Albertsons brand ‘light’. I was very pleased with the light rocky road. It is creamy and flavorful. I must admit (I say must only because some people who read this were there) I also had some Oreo’s. What a sugar and fat- I mean friendship and fun filled evening.

Sunday September 14, 2008 Phase Two Day 146:
Today is Stake Conference. We had such a nice session last night I was really looking forward to more this morning. Stephen was able to sleep in until 7:30, which is fabulous for him. He got up and fixed bacon and eggs for himself. When I came downstairs, he had saved two pieces of bacon for me. I ate them then had some protein Special K.

We both sang in the choir and enjoyed conference. President Russell gave some very good insight on the protection of marriage initiative, Prop 8. I am going to email and ask for a transcript just to help me with my discussions at work. Paula Dahl gave a rousing talk on marriage and family. Our visiting authority, Elder Trythall, said she did not need a microphone and he was right. She said the problem is when she gets excited she gets loud.

Cindy Moyes invited us over after so we went to eat with her. I had a small portion of her potato, meat & green bean casserole. I also had some salad, bread and watermelon. She served a small cup of ice cream and hot fudge for dessert. Now, as if that was not bad enough…when I came home, Stephen went straight in to take a nap. And what about me you ask? Well, no Sunday nap for me…I went to the kitchen. I can say it started off with good intentions. I went to the kitchen to make some soup for later. Stephen & I had talked about a big pot of cabbage soup so I went to the kitchen to start one. I took some sausage out of the freezer. I reached for the head of cabbage and saw it was a partial head – no worries, I have a bag of cabbage shreds I can add. I went to get the celery and found only a third of what I needed. I checked the onions and found only old rotting red ones – they will never do. So, in short, I did not have the ingredients to make a yummy cabbage soup. With that realization, there was only one thing to do. Nibble. And so it began. I started with a bowl of ice cream left over from last night rationalizing that after all it was ‘light’ rocky road. Once that finished, I moved on to a handful of almonds snatched from their can when I opened that cupboard to check for popcorn. Moving to the other side of the kitchen, I opened the bag of ‘reduced fat’ chips and had a few. Putting back the bag of chips, I noticed they shared a basket with the bread. Say, wouldn’t a peanut butter and jelly sandwich taste good right about now? Why yes, I think it would! I was right – it tasted soooooo good. I am happy to report that I am over my little binge and will be good again. I guess it is appropriate I will be going swimming with my Mom tomorrow morning.

I have an observation in all this – in fact I have noticed it over the months each time I over indulge: I feel pressure and a little uncomfortable in the middle of my upper back. Months ago, I was having a lot of pain there and had several test checking my gall bladder. The symptoms were so similar to gall bladder problems. The tests came back that I was fine and that my gall bladder functioned well. Two of my friends said they had the same problems and the tests did not show anything wrong with theirs either, however, they both had their gall bladders removed and have not been bothered by the pain any longer. I don’t know - it probably is my gall bladder but since I have improved my fat intake and reduced portions in general (well except for nights like last night), I am not having the pain like I used to. As I say, it is only when I overindulge. I felt it mildly last night, then felt great this morning, and now after the ice cream and peanut butter sandwich I feel it again now. I will keep watch.

Monday September 15, 2008 Phase Two Day 147:
I sure had a rotten couple of days as far as controlled eating goes. It is really shame too, because a few days last week I was stepping on the scale at 144 pounds. That is a little drop from where I was. I do not have a lot of confidence in that type of results when I weigh in tomorrow though. The trick is slow and steady and I am afraid with me it is slow and erratic!

Went walking with friends this morning then back home to change to my swimming suit. I ate a granola bar as I drove over to pick up my Mom. We went swimming and she liked the facility. I had a good swim. Mom swam a few laps but mostly water walked. She loved it. We are going again on Wednesday morning. On Wednesday we reserved lanes at 8:30. There is a senior’s water workout class at 9:00 so we can check it out when we are done. I think she will join. This might mean I will need to commit a few times a week to go with her at least for a while.

When I came home, I ate some strawberries and cottage cheese. I got ready and went in to work. I did not take a lunch because I was not planning to stay that long. From my desk I ate a few almonds, from the break room I had a few ‘light’ chips that were leftover form the Employee Wellness day. I also ate a leftover diced peach cup. Today is picture day for the district but after it was taken, I went to buy a few things at the store then home to make soup. Yum… it smells good simmering on the stove. I was hungry, so during cooking I ate an egg salad sandwich, a peach smoothie and two miniature York peppermint patties. Hummmmm…where did those come from? Well, they might have been purchased when I stopped on my way home from the Black Angus last Friday night to gas up the car. It could have been, that I ate four of the six mini’s on my way home and stashed the other two for later. Oh, did I forget to mention that in Friday’s entry? How carless of me.

Tonight Stephen & I had some soup. Boy, it is delicious. I never know how my meals are going to turn out but this time I did good! I had some with crackers. The only draw back was is that it was hot. I wanted something cool when I was finished so I had a bowl of Cheerios. We are finished and it is only 6:00. I like being finished with dinner relatively early. Tomorrow I will get back to step class. I need to burn calories and use the inner & outer thigh machines.

Tuesday September 16, 2008 Phase Two Day 148:
I have good news and I have bad news. Now, I always like to hear the bad news first so I can end up with good news so here goes. I showed up this morning at the gym at 5:30 and no step class. Larry had canceled it. Had I gone last week I would have know that but I didin’t so I had an unnecessary get-up. I left. The good news is I weighed 145.25 this morning. That’s my lowest so far. Sonnet stopped by this AM on her way to work to weigh and she is down 1.5 pounds also. We will see how that computes to inches when we measure this afternoon. Right now, I am having a breakfast of cantaloupe and blueberries. I have already filled a container of soup and another of strawberries for lunch at the office. Should be a pretty long day as I have over 100 immunization exclusions to mail out.

I will meet Sonnet for weight lift class at 4:30 then home to measure. Nothing much on the agenda for this evening. Maybe I will stop by the fabric store and look at baby christening gown patterns. I need to make one boy and one girl blessing outfits by November 1st……...OK, so now I am home and I do not have good news! Lets start with lunch. The soup never made it out of the house. I packed it along with the strawberries but when it came time to leave I did not want it. I wanted a salad from Zorba’s. That doesn’t sound so bad and would not have been that bad if I had stopped there. Bottom line – I had two, count them, two bowls of ice cream at work after I finished the salad. I actually left the break room after my salad and went to my desk, but then I went back and finished off the Tin Roof Sunday in the break room freezer from some party months ago. I know no one else will touch it (lucky for me) so I scooped it out and poured chocolate and caramel sauce on top, oh yea, toppings too. I took it back to my desk to eat. A little while after it was finished I went back and finished the vanilla, of course I topped it also. What is going on with me? Now I am home and need to change to run to weight class and all I can think about is having some cereal. I am so glad there is no time!!! The only thing I can think of is that perhaps I am about to start my period. I always get ravenous before my period. Time will tell.

I am feeling better about life now. I had a really good workout including the inner & outer thigh machines. Sonnet & I did the machines before we left. We just finished measuring and we both are another half inch down. Stephen is off to meetings and we are having soup for dinner…..Finally I did something right today. I had a bowl of soup and then I ate one frozen smoothie. That’s it! No cereal, no granola bar, no popcorn. Just soup and smoothie. Good for me. Cheyenne came over later and had a bowl of soup too. She’s a doll.

Edited Information

Wednesday September 3, 2008 Phase Two Day 135:
This morning I walked with all my walking friends. It has been a long time since we have all been together to walk. I loved it. It was decided we’d meet at Taunie’s house at 8:30 for a visit. I went home and thought I would have a nice hour and a half relax time. Wrong. I put away the clean dishes, straightened up a few things and just when I was beginning a batch of peach smoothies, I received a phone call that needed my attention for about an hour. By the time I was free there was only time to finish what I had started and instead of eating any, simply pouring it into freezer containers and run out the door. Taunie made a lovely breakfast and I ate heartily of the egg casserole. We visited until about 12:30. I had already decided I would not go into the office today but stay home and kick back – heaven. I decided to get one of those smoothies out of the freezer and enjoy it with a movie. I added to it two crackers with turkey and cheese and a handful of almonds.

Right now I have boy scouts coming, but for dinner I am fixing teriyaki chicken, cauliflower and salad. Sounds terrific! I amaze myself sometimes. My dinner was outstanding. I marinaded the chicken in Newman’s Teriyaki marinade all afternoon. In a frying pan I heated a little light olive oil and stir fry sauce. I placed the chicken in the pan and covered it. It cooked and then simmered and stayed very tender and plump. The salad was just salad mix with extra ice burg lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber and avocado.

Wow! Just returned from watching the Republican National Convention at Rinez’s house. It was great. Sonnet came over after Institute and we had a workout walk. Felt good.

Thursday September 4, 2008 Phase Two Day 136:
Stephen & I slept in until 7:00 this morning because we were up so late watching a tape of the convention. Rudy Giuliani and Sarah Palin spoke. They were historic. Sarah has energized the Republican party and I think we finally have a real race for the white house on our hands. So, I missed step class. I ate cottage cheese and pears for breakfast. Ran an errand with Shannon then went into work. My lunch was tuna & crackers with a nectarine and a small frozen smoothie. I worked all afternoon. By the time Steph & I met at home I was hungry. There was only an hour before weight class so I ate a piece of turkey with a slice of cheese, a few almonds and a yogurt. After weight class I only had time to clean up and grab something before running out the door to Rinez’s house to watch John McCain’s speech. I had another piece of turkey with cheese and a small 100-calorie bag of popcorn. This was an impulse grab but I did not think it was too bad.

Friday September 5, 2008 Phase Two Day 137:
I have some shocking news…That is what Stephen said to me last night. We had been talking in bed then we read and said prayers like always. I reached up to turn off the light and he says, “I have some shocking news.” I asked him what it was. He said,
EDIT>>>>EDIT>>>>EDIT I have edited out the conversation at this time. Clarification will follow at a later date.

Walked with friends this morning. Cottage cheese and pears for breakfast. I want to check out a few things on the computer then go swimming. Also I need to do some calling for Prop 8 before I go into work….OK, so I am back from swimming – it was wonderful. Totally forgot to do Prop 8 calling. Went to work and ate tuna & crackers and a peach for lunch. I had a frozen smoothie with me but was too full to eat it. Now that I am home, I had my smoothie. Stephen & I are leaving for Fresno.

Had a wonderful evening with Blake & Sara. We ate at BJ’s. I had a Santa Fe salad B&S ordered a pizza. It looked very good and when they did not finish the last piece, I ate it. We also had dessert – hot fudge brownie with ice cream. Sooooo gooood! During dinner we talked >>>EDIT>>>EDIT>>>EDIT>>> I will ever thank my Heavenly Father for sending Blake to us. He is a special boy and has been his entire life. I am grateful we are exceptionally close. One of the reasons I like the movie, ‘The Work and the Glory’ is the close relationship depicted between Maryann Steed and her son Nathan. They connect. Blake and I connect. Before we left, he asked his dad for blessing and received wonderful council. Whatever he chooses, we will support him.

Saturday September 6, 2008 Phase Two Day 138:
Today Sonnet and I attend an all day seminar on nutrition. Wanda from work first told me about it months ago and with our new emphasis on weight loss, Sonnet and I signed up. It was a wonderful day listening to a very energetic speaker on health, nutrition and personal stewardship for our bodies from the perspective of a Christian. St. John’s Lutheran church hosted the event. We enjoyed every minute of it and learned many interesting things about food.

First thing, before we left, I ate some blueberries. One there I had a bottle of water. At lunch the provided turkey sandwiches, baked chips and low fat cookies. There were apples and nuts out but I did not have any. The afternoon snack was a ‘Skinny Cow’ ice cream bar. It was very good.

Tonight we went to the Larsen’s for games. Of course, there were snacks there. For some reason I was ravenous. I do not know why though. Before we went over I had tuna, crackers, and a small smoothie. Anyway, I ate chips, carrots, red grapes (which I learned that morning are a very good antioxidant). That wouldn’t have been too terrible but Add to that a brownie alamode with extra helping of brownie and you have disaster.
Home and to bed much too late.

Sunday September 7, 2008 Phase Two Day 139:
>>>EDIT>>>EDIT>>>EDIT

Poor Stephen, he is so tired this morning. Getting to bed about midnight for two days in a row then up at 5:30 to go to Sunday morning meetings is rough. It least I get to sleep in until 7:30. It is Fast Sunday so no breakfast. Fast and Testimony meeting was a little slow as far as people getting up but it had a sweet spirit. Poor Stephen again. I saw him struggling to keep his eyes open. One of the reasons I sit right in front of him is to give him the wake-up look when he is droopy. After church I worked on activities committee things and went down to break my fast about 4:00. I had a granola bar and sandwich. Mom dropped by, left and then it was time for choir practice. After practice I fixed Steph and & some Spam and eggs. I suggested we go upstairs to read, say our prayers and put Stephen to bed while I waited for Sonnet to drop by for our evening stroll. She called to say she had a CES fireside so I knew she would be late.

Monday September 8, 2008 Phase Two Day 140:
Good morning. I had some cereal this morning. Wow, I have not eaten cereal in months. Sonnet & I did some evaluating last night during our walk. We reviewed the information we gleaned from the seminar on Saturday and drew some conclusions pertaining to our individual health goals. I am going to watch the saturated fats (animal fats) and move toward the monounsaturated fats (vegetable). I am going to talk with Dr. Sidenstricker about a bone density scan to see where I am on the subject of Osteoporosis as well as look for a good calcium supplement. That is one of the reasons I had cereal today – to get some milk in me. I do not care for milk as a beverage so I only take it in when having cereal. I am going to continue to concentrate on taking in enough dark green leafy veggies and bright colored fruit.

For lunch at work, I will take tuna and crackers, a peach and a smoothie. But secretly I want to go out to the knotty pine for a salad. Wanda was out all last week with her family to the Grand Canyon – if she is not too swamped, I know she will be up to going out…..So Wanda was swamped and we stayed in. I had my tuna, crackers, peach and smoothie. Because I am watching my saturated fats, I sure noticed that mayonnaise going into the tuna. Need to go back to not draining so much water out so it will be a little moister an check out low fat mayo’s or even Miracle Whip. I ended up working late because of the big Employee Wellness program I am giving on Wednesday.

At home this evening Stephen & I ate ham, pork & beans and cauliflower out by the pond. Stephen came up and sat in the rocker by the computer while I caught up on the blog. He usually comes up to sit by me when I am working. He will bring a book or his laptop. It keeps us together even if we are independently occupied.

Tuesday September 9, 2008 Phase Two Day 141:
Slept through step class this morning. I needed it! Woke up and got cooking. I made a cake and spaghetti sauce in preparation for taking a meal into someone. I also made and delivered a cute mini birthday cake for one of me visiting teaching sisters. There was laundry to do as well as clean the upstairs landing and bedrooms. I had a bowl of cantaloupe for breakfast. My big presentation for our employee wellness program is tomorrow so work was busy. I took left over pork n’ beans and cauliflower together with mixed fruit and a granola bar for lunch. It really filled me up. On the way home, I stopped at the store to buy supplies for the presentation. The subject is ‘Brown Bagging It!’ I will talk about healthy lunches and have samples of foods. I am so not a cook but am enjoying the research and preparation for this presentation.

When I got home, I put the finishing touches on the dinner to be taken in. Stephen dropped it off because I needed to be across town at 4:30 to meet Sonnet for weight lift class. After class, we came home and measured. To date I have lost 20 pounds and 14.75 inches. Sonnet has lost 30 pounds and 18.25 inches. Great news for us! I had to hurry and clean up for Relief Society. It was our quarterly meeting. The sisters served taco salad and brownies. Did I have a lot – oh ya. It was very yummy.

Life Goes On

Wednesday August 27, 2008 Phase Two Day 128:
Last night when I got home from RS Stephen had just started the movie ‘Miracle’. It is that movie about the US hockey team that won the gold a few years back. Anyway, I came up to catch up email and post to Pigs to Twigs. By the time I was finished and the movie was over it was late. We did not get to bed until after 11:00. I am tired this morning. I think it also has something to do with all the sugar I had last night. When I finally dragged myself out of bed, I was off to walk. I am grateful I have a commitment to my walking friends, many mornings it is the only thing that gets me up and going.

Came home and had a big bowl of cantaloupe. Usually I have two slices with cottage cheese but this morning I skipped the cottage cheese in favor of two more slices of the fruit and one boiled egg. Now I think I will get to work on a newsletter for work. I can access the website from home, which is very nice.

Got into the office around 11:00 and worked until 2:30. Planned on having tuna and crackers but Stephen surprised my with a lunch invitation. He was in town and picked me up for chicken salads at Zorba’s. We talked about the email from cousin Betsy inviting us to the Tahoe cabin this weekend but decided not to go. We both have commitments this Sunday that would be hard to rearrange at such short notice. I headed home in time to meet with a boy scout for a music merit badge. Stephen had Chinese food leftovers for dinner. Oh, did I mention the night I went to RS @ Dayna’s he ordered Chinese food. Great! I do not have to think about dinner for a couple days. I wanted something light so I made a berry smoothie. Sonnet came over for our walk after Institute.

Thursday August 28, 2008 Phase Two Day 129:
Best laid plans. I planned to go to step class then off to the pool to swim laps. In the morning I changed my plan to skip step class and just go swimming when I got up. When I got up I changed my plan to go get my Mom’s laundry then go swimming. Now I am doing my Mom’s laundry and have no plan for exercise. I think the problem is I did not plan to be so tired. This getting to bed late is not for me. It was almost 11:00 by the time we got to sleep last night.

Had a couple slices of cantaloupe and a boiled egg this morning. When I get to the office I have the tuna & crackers waiting for me from yesterday. Tonight is the double baby shower fro Allison Moreno (Randall) and Stephanie Randall. Should be fun but I hope not fraught with sugar-laden delectables. Although last time there was a shower at Connie’s she served fruit and nuts, very nice. Whatever the offerings, I can make wise choices for myself, especially with Sonnet there…..Well, I was so late at work then picking out gifts for the shower I had to call Sonnet and tell her I would not be at our weight lift class today. Wow, I managed to miss all exercise today. The shower was fun. I only ate some of Connie’s main dish. It had beans, avocado, sour cream, lettuce, tomato and cheese – kind of a Mexican dip thing, but I did not have any chips, I just ate it with a fork. It was very good. She served brownie cake and ice cream but I busied myself folding the tissue paper and collecting paper garbage as the girls opened their gifts. It worked wonderfully to keep me away from the snacks. At home, I had a boiled egg before going to bed.

Friday August 29, 2008 Phase Two Day 130:
Yes – finally I got up and going on time. Out the door walking with friends after a slice of cantaloupe. Went straight to the gym to swim a few laps, good workout. What a great day so far. Came home and watched an episode of Andy Griffith while enjoying a breakfast of spam, eggs and cantaloupe. Today I am wearing a cute new dress I got on sale and John McCain just announced the Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin as his running mate. Her speech sounded pretty good and I an encouraged about the election. I finally feel I have a candidate I can get behind.

Now I am off to work. Bill is taking the department out to lunch at Riverlakes. I have already ordered a Cobb salad. This day just keeps getting better…..Back from work and it is nice to know there are others in the office that are buzzing about Sarah Palin. The department lunch was yummy. I was good and did not have any dessert. Now I am going to do a little cleaning. This place is dusty and could use a once over with the vacuum. I am somewhat hungry though. Not sure why – I guess it is not really hunger just a case of the munchies. What should I do? I’ll try a granola bar.

It felt good to clean the house. I put on a pork roast earlier so Stephen & I sat down to roast and a salad. Our Home Teachers came over for a nice visit. When they left we settled in to a movie. It was very cute – Katherine Hepburn & Cary Grant in Holiday. We had nectarine smoothies while watching. I feel very full.

Saturday August 30, 2008 Phase Two Day 131:
Stephen & I got up around 8:30 – quite a sleep in. After some cottage cheese and cantaloupe we headed out on a bike ride. Wow, I can sure tell I have not been riding in along while. It felt good to be tired in a new way – if that makes sense.

I know this blog is primarily dedicated to my journey toward improved physical health; but for a moment, I would like to interject a comment on mental and emotional health. After our bike ride today we went to take a well-earned shower. I am so glad we had this uninterrupted time together because when he asked. “Is something wrong?” The floodgates opened wide. Have you ever just opened your mouth and began with, “I don’t know, I just feel…..wa, wa, wa” Well I did. We were in that shower for almost an hour. It is a good thing we have two bench seats in our shower.

When I have something troublesome on my mind, I tend to keep it to myself and mull it over, debating back and forth. I wonder, ‘Is it really that big a deal?’ ‘Am I just being hormonal?’ ‘Should say something or keep it to myself?’ All the while, I pray very hard for direction, guidance and peace. I did a lot of talking, crying, and listening during that shower. I can sum it up by saying, it was cleansing, and I do not just mean getting the stinky sweat washed off. Stephen is a wonderful husband. He is a man, he thinks like a man and analyzes like a man. He also loves and appreciates me very much. I am amazed to hear his thoughts on our relationship and future. It is wonderful for a woman to have a man as companion and mate. I need his perspective and counsel. The balance of both male and female emotional and mental composition makes a strong union. Our conversation was lovingly comforting. I can heal and go forward.

Back to being fit - it is 1:00 now and I am hungry! I grabbed a few almonds to tide me over. First thing, I need to check out the old finances. We have been spending a lot lately and need to put the brakes on. Normally I would say, “Let’s go out to lunch”, but today I’d better have a look first…….Well, I looked and the finances aren’t quite in an iron lung but we are exploring a few changes that should make a difference. Stephen is napping now so I reached for two crackers with turkey and cheese.

After a bit, I tiptoe into the darkened bedroom to get something and was surprised to hear Stephen talking on the cell phone. I did not even know he was awake. It turned out to be Blake. They were talking politics so he put Blake on speaker phone and we all had a nice chat. When we were off the phone we were both ready for dinner. “Let’s go get some food”, he says and I head to the kitchen. “Not in there”, he adds, “let’s go out”. “Where do you want to go?” we asked each other simultaneously. “Well, what I really want is a relish tray” he confesses. “And if I thought you would go for it I’d say let’s go to McNally’s” “I thought of that three time earlier today!”, I laughed. We ended up calling our McNally buddies, Doug and Rinez. They said ‘sure’ about as fast as we did and within minutes, we were climbing into the back seat of their car and away we went. It was a lovely evening and a delicious meal. By the time we arrived, I was so hungry I dove into the crackers on the table then attacked the carrots and celery on the relish tray. I had some bread from the basket and swathed it with butter. I splurged and had some clam chowder – just a little because it was a too spicy for me. The porterhouse steak was heavenly. I passed on the potato because I had my eye on the Mudd Pie for dessert. Doug called the pie “obscene” and he was right. It was huge and I loved every bite of it. After dinner, we took a walk on the bridge spanning the river and stopped a while to visit. Good food, good friends – it doesn’t get much better than that. All in all it was the perfect ending to a superb day.

Sunday August 31, 2008 Phase Two Day 132:
Sunday, beautiful Sunday! I woke up refreshed and looking forward to church. The Relief Society is singing in church today. I ate a slice of cantaloupe then headed off. After regular choir practice, I started catching sisters to remind them to come up on the stand to sing. Many sat on the stand and several more came up when it was time for the number. The choir pews were full and the sound was angelic. I was so impressed and grateful for the Spirit’s blessing on our meeting that the sisters helped facilitated.

A nice surprise was to see Taunie in town. I knew we needed to get together so I invited all the walkie-talkie’s to ‘Breakfast by the Pond’ tomorrow morning. I feel bad because Jami is not in town however, I am sure we will do something else together this week.

Came home and had a couple almonds. Later I had a piece of turkey & cheese rolled up together. When Stephen came home, we sat down to a salad and leftover pork roast – very yummy. Now I am full and soon it will be time to go to stake choir practice. Sonnet is here and we will take our Sunday evening stroll later.

Monday September 1, 2008 Phase Two Day 133:
This morning the temperature has dropped a little to a refreshing cool. A perfect morning for an alfresco breakfast by the pond with friends. I woke up at 6:00 to get things ready. First, I tried making the won ton pastry cups filled with a yogurt/cool whip that Stephanie served at a shower earlier this month. They turned out very yummy. I made a quick run to the store for fruit and croissants. On the stove I browned a package of sausages, drained them then added whipped eggs, cheese and chopped green onion. After cutting the croissants open, I spread a light covering of sausage grave on each side then stuffed them with the egg hash. It made a delicious breakfast sandwich. The plate was rounded out with yogurt wontons and a fruit cup. Friends added to the bounty with orange juice, crumb cake and doughnut holes. It was fun to use my little white square cloth with blue and red flowers on it. The table looked crisp and cheerful. After the fact I noticed how well the red raspberries and strawberries mixed with boysenberries and blueberries played into the color scheme. I wish I could say I planned it but regardless – it worked. I know most people do not even notice things like. I am sure it is one of my many quirks but I am happy to be me. Even small aesthetic coordination’s speak to my soul and bring me pleasure.

I did not have a croissant with my eggs – that was good. I had several won ton yogurts – that was OK. I passed on the OJ and drank water – good again. Ate my berries – very good. Had about half a piece of crumb cake – not too bad because at least I limited myself. Sitting around that smorgasbord table for over an hour talking, I did have some more egg and this time had a small piece of croissant – bad again. I think eating light the rest of the day and perhaps a swim will help me recover and keep moving downward. I’ll know tomorrow when I weigh in.

We do not always get what we want in a day. I did not make it to the pool and as far as my intentions of eating light the rest of the day…….well……I guess I did not do real bad but…...During the afternoon as I sewed I snacked on a won ton yogurt here and there. Finally, they were gone. Later, Stephen & I needed to go to the grocery store but we were hungry so we went out to Marie Challender’s first. See what I mean about spending money!!! Any way we went and of course, I ordered the Cabo San Lucas salad. Note to self – it is too spicy for me – last time I thought it was the dressing so I got ranch on the side this time but it was still too hot. I thought it might be the red onion so I took them off but it was still too hot. I think now it is the cheese because the cheese is Jalapeño Jack. I need to remember that and get something else. Anyway, When Stephen, who always orders for me, ordered; she asked if I wanted corn bread or garlic toast. Always in the past I preferred corn bread so he said corn bread. I quickly amended, that I would not care for either. Stephen looked at me and said she’ll have the corn bread. We all smiled knowing he was having the corn bread. He got a corn bread with his meal also. The waitress brought out one corn bread and said when this one is finished she’d bring out the other one. Steve asked if he could change his bread to garlic toast. Sure! So, there was this big piece of piping hot corn bread staring me in the face and Stephen having decided he would rather have toast. Sabotage! I ate it. After dinner, he was telling me what a great day he had and I said mine was good but did not go just the way I wanted it. I said I was disappointed I did not get to the gym to swim and regretted having eaten the corn bread. I said I usually pass on the breads that come with salad by telling the waitress not to bring them. He felt bad that he had ordered it for him (which turned out to be me).

We made it to the store but hurried home to unload groceries because Rinez called and invited us over for Doug’s B-day cake and ice cream. We went and I was very good. I poured myself a glass of water and sipped on it while we visited. I was glad Sonnet was there or I might have gone wild – you know that whole, ‘I’ve already blown it I might as well have what I want’. I noticed Sonnet did the same water thing so maybe we helped each other tonight. I wanted a light day to perhaps dip below 145 pounds tomorrow but I do not think I am going to make it. This week exercise was sparse and food was not. I am hoping to maintain.

Tuesday September 2, 2008 Phase Two Day 134:
Weigh in day and I am where I thought I would be. No loss. Oh well, I know I can keep going. I think these last 10 pounds will be slow and the body composition change even slower. Or at least if not slower, accomplished with greater effort. I did get up today despite an 11:45 bedtime last night. I read and said prayers with Stephen around 9:30. He snoozed away but I needed to go to the computer and write a letter for Jami, type my eating journal entry and make a flyer for our rooms to rent. I am pretty slow when it comes to creating or composing. However, I am happy I got up, ate a few berries and went to step class.

I have a few errands this morning and an appointment at the office. After that I might come home and relax a bit. I am 22 hours ahead at work and can spare the time….Got to the office and ended up staying my full time. While there, I ate a bowl of mixed berries. Stopped by the Institute to drop off rental flyers then went to my Mom’s. Now that I am home I am snacking on a piece of turkey, slice of cheese and a nectarine. That should hold me through weight class.

Weight class was good. I think I will be sore which is a good thing. Sonnet came over and we measured. Small improvements. We talked about how we are doing and made some goals for this week. Stephen had interviews so I went in and fixed eggs and bacon. For some reason that sounded good to me. I put on a western and got the munchies. I decided to have two crackers and a dry hot chocolate. Later I had a handful of almonds.