Phase One Revisited

Monday, June 8, 2009 Phase One day 7
Starting weight Day 1 - 153, Day 7 - 149.5 (darn those hot dogs). Oh well slow and steady gets the prize. Last night my friends decided to walk at 7:00 instead of 6:00 this morning. Of course it was Taunie’s suggestion – she was always one to sleep in. I got up with Stephen and when he left for work I took a quick bite of cottage cheese and left too. I thought I could get in a speedy trip to Wal-Mart this morning before I met up with everyone to walk at 7:00. Walking was nice. Taunie would be returning to Utah so we said our goodbyes and I started for home.

At home I wanted to get a few things done before picking up Stephen for our trip to San Diego. I finally got out the door and on the road at 10:25. I had not eaten anything since that bite of cottage cheese and knew I would want something before too long. We decided to stop at Wood Ranch in Santa Clarita. I had their tri-tip Cobb salad. I watched Stephen eat the bread that came but didn’t partake. We arrived at the hotel and decided to take in a movie.
I was being what I would call ‘grumpy in my mind.’ I was picking on Stephen in my mind and letting little things bug me. I don’t like that feeling. I thought I wasn’t letting it show but I guess it was spilling out a little. When he walked around to open my door I plead a short silent prayer to soften my heart and help me feel nice. When I stopped in at a restroom I stayed in the seclusion of the stall longer than needed just to regroup and pray again to soften my heart. I am so grateful for the power of my friend the Holy Ghost. His presence is profound. I was calm and as we walked around the mall before the show, we could talk easily. I could admit my grumpiness and then out of my mouth came the problem. Ever since last night at the Rick’s I had been having a melt down with cravings and a desire to eat all the things I am not supposed to eat right now. From the time I picked him up today, I found myself thinking about food and all the things I wanted to eat because they were all the things I would usually eat while I was out and about on vacation. I usually would have had the bread as well as a dessert at Wood Ranch, I usually would have eaten the yummy cookie they gave us when we checked in at the Double Tree hotel, and at that moment, I usually would be having an ice cream at the mall. I was having a food melt down and irrationally focusing my frustration on Stephen; picking on him not realizing he was not the problem – he was just a handy target.

My compound stress came not only from food but my accountability to Sonnet. I felt if I failed it might give her the permission to fail. Then I would have that on my shoulders. I know that is not true. Although my weakening might contribute to her weakening, ultimately she is responsible for herself. (Wasn’t that a nice bit of psycho-babble.) It all boils down to my self imposed responsibility for Sonnet and accompanying stress. In her defense, she has never given me a reason to think what I do can undermine her anyway. In the early months I was a cheater all the time and she faithfully would plug along. I was giving her way too little credit. Of course as soon as I unloaded on Stephen he was the one to set me straight. It happened in one of my favorite places. I love it when we are riding up on escalators. He is one step behind me and I lean back into him so he is supporting me. Because his step is below mine, our heads are about the same heights allowing me to lean my head on his shoulder. He just speaks softly in my ear and says softly, ‘let it go.” He reiterates all the truths I know but can’t seem to believe at the moment. When I laid down that silly burden I could finally relax. Surprisingly enough, I no longer had those overwhelming thoughts or cravings. I had a wonderful chicken dish with steamed veggies for dinner and placed my bread stick on his plate without a thought. We had an after dinner drive around the bay and Stephen reminisced about his Navy days. We walked along the Embarcadero spending a wonderful evening together. Ahhhh….. I am well.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009 Phase One day 8
This morning I awoke early with Stephen and when he left for his morning class I headed out for a walk/jog. I figure it was between 3 & 4 miles. Before leaving I had one piece of bacon from the buffet. Upon my return I went to the exercise room and did pushups, sit ups and a few weights. Then I headed back to the buffet and ate scrambled eggs, another piece of bacon and two glasses of water.

Stephen & I just took the most enjoyable tour of the Midway Aircraft carrier. It has been taken out of active duty and transformed into an extremely impressive museum. The technology, ingenuity, engineering and skill of all involved gave me a new appreciation for the armed forces. Noon occurred while on ship so we broke up the tour with lunch at the onboard cafe. We both had Cobb salads.
Stephen had to be back for an afternoon class so I spent a few hours in the hotel room. When Steph was back we went out shopping for Tiffany’s B-day. While out and about we ate dinner at the Outback. I had _____________ for dinner – come on, fill in the blank. If you know me at all you know the Outback means Queensland salad. So delectable. We shopped more after dinner then called it a night. I am pooped. I must note, my right hip has been bothering me for about a week now. The other night on the Embarcadero I was almost limping. I do not like it one bit. Between my knees and now my hip I am feeling pretty uncomfortable. I think when I get back to town I am going to look into injections for my knees and have an x-ray on my hip to see if the arthritis has attacked there as well. Although I should wait – they say most pains go away in two weeks or so. Just my luck I’ll make an appointment and by the time the appointment date arrives I will feel fine. Isn’t that the way it usually goes?

Wednesday, June 10, 2009 Phase One day 9
Got up with Stephen this morning. Left for a walk when he left for class. I did the same three mile route but this time without the jogging. While I was out I had the best idea for a book – just my style. It was nice to be out there walking with no distractions , I could just think about it . back at the hotel I stopped by the exercise room for sit ups, push ups – woops! I forgot my pushups – shoot. I was listening to the TV that was playing and I must have gone straight to working with the weights and forgot the pushups. Oh well, I’ll get them in tonight. For breakfast I had a Denver omelet and water.

Stephen’s class let out early so we got on the road a little earlier than expected – always a good thing when you must travel through LA. We continued our shopping for Tiffany for a while then headed to the LDS bookstore. Hunger compelled us to stop and eat before leaving the San Diego area. We found a nice looking place called Rock Bottom. Now we know why it is so named. Not really but almost. My salad was great but Stephens’s meal was less that appetizing and drowning in grease. I had a Fiesta salad for a change and it sure was a nice change. Loaded with pico de gallo, corn, avocado, onion and chicken it was very satisfying. Oh, I forgot, I picked up some almonds at the gas station when I went in for water.

Here at home I had a string cheese, boiled egg and two slices of cheddar cheese. Not much of a dinner but it is too late to eat anything now.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009 Phase One day 15
OK…so some time has past but I have a really good reason. All my bridesmaids came in from three states to have a reunion.


I was busy from the day I got back from San Diego until now. What a blast! Did I eat perfect – No! Do I care – No! We had a wonderful time. I really was not crazy with my eating except for the ice cream. I knew weigh in was going to be sad, then of course my period kicked in and today I am bloated and in pain for our weigh in. Oh well, nothing can get me down. I have had such a great weekend with my friends.

Sonnet has been doing good. I ordered some exercise videos and we checked them out. We will be trying them soon. Today started for me about 3:30 when I woke up in pain from cramping. Popped some pain meds and got on a hot pad but did not feel enough relief to sleep again. Wow – by 4:30 I got up and went to the computer just to distract myself. I did some blogging that was way overdue. Finally at 12:30 I went downstairs to eat a little lunch of tuna and crackers. I had a skinny cow for dessert. Later I was able to take a nap. Still pretty sore. A phone call from Tiffany woke me up. I came downstairs where Sonnet had fixed a delicious grilled chicken salad and mixed berries for dinner. I had another skinny cow for dessert.

Week One

Wednesday, June 3, 2009 Phase One day 2
Boy was I tired last night – slept like a rock. This morning I felt tired as well but got myself out of bed and off to the church to met friends for our walk. I had a spoonful of cottage cheese before I left. Back home I ate a bowl of cottage cheese for breakfast. My morning schedule had a conflict. Mom & I were reserved at the pool at 8:00 but I had boy scouts coming over at 9:00. I asked Sonnet if she would take Mom to the pool for me. She did of course. So no swimming this morning but that’s OK.

Later that morning I wanted something to munch so I grabbed a stock of celery. That was less than satisfying. For lunch I cooked up bacon and eggs. Sonnet came in and made a little deli plate for herself. Three different cheeses, some ham and a few olives. I added three squares of cheese to my plate…yummmmm.

After lunch I ran a couple errands but when I got home I went up to take a nap. Actually I went up to read. The nap part came later. I feel so tired. I think it is the diet. I just read back a year ago to see if I made any mention of fatigue during Phase One, week one last year. Nope. No mention. Oh well, I do have another theory though. This is summer - I do not have to get up and go to work. I don’t have to do much of anything and that is why I feel the low energy. Last years entries were full of dashing off to work, or a funeral or something else that required my attention. It was April after all and my schedule was different.

Now Stephen just got home and is lying down, I hear Sonnet downstairs in the kitchen. I am sure dinner will be wonderful. I think she has a fancy salad on the menu ……sure enough we ate green salad with chicken and avocado. Tonight Sonnet has Institute and Steph has YM/YW. It will be a quiet night for me.

Thursday, June 4, 2009 Phase One day 3
Slept in today – ahhh. When I did get up I decided to have some cottage cheese and get ready to go into the office. That was great. I accomplished a lot. I knew I would want something mid morning so Sonnet suggested I take string cheese. I did and it hit the spot. Wanda & I lunched at the Knotty Pine. I ordered a chicken salad with blue cheese dressing and a side of avocado. I very much liked the salad.

Sonnet says some kind of fancy pork chops are on the menu tonight. I’ll tell you all about it after dinner…..I was right. They were called Chipotle Pork chops. They were very good but a tad spicy for me. She served the chops with a delicious salad. The salad had an avocado lime dressing. I cut up my pork chop and folded it into the salad. The dressing covered it enough to take the bite away. It was a delicious meal. After dinner I wanted to move. I have noticed flab on my hips and tummy that remains even when the pounds drop. I think my body composition has changed because I have dropped the gym classes in which I not only had an aerobic workout but strength training as well. Without weight work as well as my push ups and ab work my body tone stinks. Tonight I set out on a walk but it turned into a walk/jog. I love it when that happens. I am not a runner but sometimes when I am alone and out on the trail, I will just break into a jog. I guess it was the cool evening and nice breeze that inspired me.

Friday, June 5, 2009 Phase One day 4
Up and out the door this morning and very surprised to see that it rained during the night. A very fresh morning. Walked with my friends then came home for some cottage cheese. I showered right away and now am off to the office. I am taking boiled eggs as a morning snack. Maybe I’ll add a pickle……big mistake. Around 10:00 I headed into the office kitchen and got out my pickle. I took a bite expecting the vinegar taste of dill but to my surprise and distaste I bit into a sweet pickle. Phewie! I threw it away – I really do not like sweet pickles not to mention it is a definite no-no on my diet. The eggs were great and stalled my hunger until after 12:00 when I went back to the Knotty Pine with Doreen for another chicken salad. I worked late then headed home.

For dinner Sonnet cooked chicken lettuce wraps. They had chicken, red peppers and onions cooked in a light sauce. They were tasty and it was such a nice touch to have big lettuce leafs to wrap it in. We added cheese and they were quite good. Stephen & I were going to clean the patio this evening but we got a call to tell us a friend, Marie Whitfield, was in the hospital. We went to the visit her and ended up staying a while. Doug and Rinez came by to visit as well so we had a nice time and I think cheered her up. When we left, Stephen said it was a shame to end the evening without some ice cream so the four of us went to Wendy’s. I was so good – I had a cup of water while everyone else had a frosty and fries. It didn’t bother me in the least. Now that’s what I call a success!

Saturday, June 6, 2009 Phase One day 5
OK, Sonnet off to the Larsen’s and Stephen off to the temple with the youth for baptisms. Today was the day I would tackle the patio. It was a great day. The weather was cool with spats of rain from time to time. Nothing that stopped my progress though. I ate cottage cheese to get me started then went to work. It felt to good to be busy and active. I worked for a good three hours. Sonnet ended up coming home mid morning because the Larsen’s plans changed. When I was ready for a lunch break I suggested we go out to the Sugar Mill for steak salads. Those steak salads are so good. We had a very nice lunch together.

We stopped by Home Depot on the way back to the house and got supplies for the patio. Sonnet helped me put up new shade screens. I kept at it and finished right on time. I needed to finish at 4:45 to take my shower and be dressed and ready to leave by 5:30. Stephen & I had a retirement dinner to attend. The dinner was catered by Mossman’s but I was very good in the line. I only accepted the chicken and salad – that meant no huge, dense, delicious looking roll, yummy potatoes, or fresh fruit. Actually it was easy. I did grab a roll to take to Marie in the hospital. Yesterday while we were there she was saying how lousy the food was. The only good thing she had had was a big piece of white bread. When I saw that fresh bread in the dinner line I knew I’d take one and stop by the hospital on our way home. So that’s what we did. She laughed when I brought it in. At the end of the dinner they served cake but Stephen & I just headed out. After stopping by to take the bread to Marie, we made our last stop. The Neville’s were having their annual party and we did not want to miss it. It was late but the party was still going strong. We visited with many people then said goodnight. Mossman’s catered the Neville’s as well. Sonnet said she only had the tri-tip. Wow, we only had chicken at our dinner. On our way out I snatched a piece of tri-tip from the serving table – it was scrumptious. Good Day.

Sunday, June 7, 2009 Phase One day 6
Good Morning. Today is Fast Sunday so no breakfast before church. Choir, Sacrament Meeting, Sunday School and Relief Society were wonderful. I started feeling the hunger on the way home. Our Walkie-Talkie buddy, Taunie Thomas, came to town for a short visit. Shannon had us all over for a potluck dinner at 5:00. When I broke my fast I ate some cottage cheese and downed a couple bottles of water. I was very thirsty.

Sonnet & I decided to bring Chinese Chicken salad so we would be sure there was something there we could eat. I am very glad we did. The first thing I noticed when I hit the door was the delectable smell of cookies. Sure enough Shannon had made cookies and Texas sheet cake. Jami brought Blondies. I knew I was in for trouble. I leaned over to Sonnet and said, “I will be faithful but I want you to know this is going to be very hard for me.” She told me that she just sat through a ‘Break the Fast’ YSA dinner of Spaghetti with garlic bread and only ate some salad – And is she could do that, I could do this. She was right. The dinner entrees collected were chicken casserole, yummy potatoes, frog eyed salad and a giant bowl of superb looking pasta salad. There was one other thing – hot dogs. So….Sonnet & I were glad we brought the salad. She did tell me we could have hot dogs so I ate two of those with my salad. I think I went back for more salad and had another hot dog. The hot dags were a mistake – at least the last one was. Too much.

Back home I finished off the last little bit of salad. Tomorrow I go to San Diego with Steph so I will weigh in tomorrow morning. After tonight’s hot dogs I do not have that much hope – probably about 2 pounds. That’s not much for a first week. We will see. I am extremely proud of myself for getting things going again. I am proud of Sonnet also. She is amazingly strong when she is committed. She did say it started getting hard last night and was pretty rough today, but, we made it through and look forward to more success. I think I will post early since I will be gone tomorrow. You will just have to wait in suspense until next week to hear how we did.

I'm Back!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009 Phase One day 1
Look at the date, look at the date. Wow, so much has happened since April 15th. I am afraid I was just too busy taking care of Kevin following his surgery, Tiffany healing from her cesarean, Audrey our newborn as well as Jared & Anna, to write as faithfully as I should have. Suffice it to say I did it and loved every minute of being with the kids! I was eating lightly at Tiff's because, afterall, I had the family I was cooking for and children around all the time. I couldn't very well set a poor example. I did pretty well until Uncle Mike dropped in for four days. We dished up the ice cream large and often. So…Stephen flew out and joined me and together we went to South Carolina to be with Blake when he graduated from Basic Training.




Sara & Jacob were there of, course. We had such a wonderful time together. We had the opportunity to take Jacob for an evening to give the kids some time together. Following his graduation it was back to Maryland for the baby blessing then home again. It sure was wonderful to be home.

As far as eating goes I think I went steadily down hill from then on. Not drasticly but enough. By then I had not attended my step class for a month. I will say I did keep active though as Tiffany’s house has three flights of stairs in it. With Kevin down flat in a brace and Tiffany pretty much down also, I was happy to do the hiking between floors to keep the household going.
I hit the ground running at work to prepare for a big project I was in charge of. I walked with my friends in the morning but did not return to the gym. Feeling quite overwhelmed with all the exercise before I left; it was very freeing to give myself permission to not go.

Sonnet had stopped attending afternoon gym class, so for me, without our classes, exercise at the gym stopped almost completely. Sonnet and I talked about what we were doing as far as Pigs to Twigs. She was slacking. Not as much as me that’s for sure. I was pretty much having whatever I wanted. I knew she had been backsliding. Being a big time backslider myself, I knew I needed to give her some room. She was getting as antsy as the kids to be out of school for the summer. She was not in a mood to talk about exercise or eating specifics so I backed off and we agreed to wait a month for summer to make any real hard hitting commitments. I did mention the possibility of swimming during summer. With Sonnet I have to go slow. I plant an idea lightly and let it simmer for a bit then return to it later. Sure enough, when I brought it up a week later it was well received. We laughed about swimming late at night when the gym would be virtually empty. I knew getting into a bathing suit was going to be a huge ‘out of my comfort zone’ deal for her.

It seemed like I wasn’t home very long before the next trip came along. Stephen had a conference in Sacramento. We went to Tahoe for both weekends surrounding the week. It’s funny about me – I like the food that is good for me and am usually happy to eat it. But I also like to bad stuff and willingly partake if I am out and about. Being on ‘vacation’ with Stephen defiantly falls under the category of being out and about! Even the driving stops along the freeway for gas become opportunities to snack. In town I never by treats when I gas up. Well the combination of little exercise and treat eating. Started to manifest itself all over my body. The scale finally ratted me out lat week when I stepped on it a few days in a row. 152…154…155. That was it!

The last day of school was this past Friday and that’s when Sonnet & I began our planning. When I got back from Maryland at the end of April; I mentioned to her that I thought it might be a good idea to go back and repeat Phase One days 1-14 every April. That is the anniversary of our journey together. At the time she very much liked the idea but was too busy with school, testing and just not in the right frame of mind to commit to it at that time. That is when we decided to concentrate on summer. So…now summer had arrived and we needed to get down to business. We both read from the book a little and decided upon today as our beginning point. Yesterday she looked through menus and last night she went shopping for our food. It is a great blessing that she enjoys cooking and shopping – I don’t think I would do it without her.

This morning we weighed in and recorded the results. Today she cooked scrambled eggs with ham and onion. It was delicious. Also, yesterday, she went online to look for bathing suits. She found one and ordered it. In the mean time, while I was downstairs she surprised me by walking in sporting the swim attire she had that she thought might possibly work until her new suit arrived. I called the gym and we made reservation for this morning. True to each other, we went to the pool this morning at 7:00am. You would think a wall of floor to ceiling glass windows separating the gym floor and the pool would be intimidating but it wasn’t. I go with Mom all the time and don’t think about it but I wasn’t sure how Sonnet would take it. It was fine. I am excited she is happy with it.

When we got back home I went to do some gardening. It felt good to work outside especially in such comfortable weather. About 10:00 I came in for a pickle and the rest of my eggs from breakfast. It sure is hard not to snack. I told Sonnet it was going to be a long two weeks trying to rein in my urges. But then again that is what Phase One Weeks 1 & 2 is about – detoxing sugars and starches.

For lunch we had a large green salad with a boiled egg and tuna in it. This morning I set out 6 bottles of water to make sure I drink enough. So far I have had 4 – good for me.

Dinner was wonderful!! Sonnet cooked J. She made lemon chicken with asparagus. She also made a salad topped with cooked motserella cheese crusted with pecans. Oh my - it was good. After dinner Stephen & I went to the church. I needed to return the RS tablecloths I used at the reception last Saturday. I also wanted to copy some music but I did not get that far. The three RS closets were so packed and cluttered I decided to clean them. I am quirky that way – I just love to clean up, organize and clear out. It took a good two hours so I ended up coming home copy-less. I drank my last bottle of water on the way home. Not really hungry. Probably because I was busy. Now it is time for bed. Well, one day down. I am so glad to be back in the saddle and connected with Sonnet.